Real thoughts that really hurt.

Thought one: while looking in the mirror, "God Shelby, you're fat."
Thought two: facial expression changing from total disgust to a softer form and I add, "compared to unrealistic images that have been burned into your psyche."
Thought three: "I should just stop eating."
Thought four: "People are dying everywhere because they haven't been blessed with food. I am such a horribly ungrateful person. Of course I can't stop eating."
Thought five: "Maybe this isn't me that is causing these thoughts. Maybe I should just stop making an idol out of my body. Maybe Satan is whispering these horrific words to me."

But even with this knowledge I still think these thoughts. In the past I have obsessed to the point of counting every calorie (no more than 900 a day) but that left me miserable and sick and well... obsessed. When you start to focus on things like that, to that degree, you lose sight of what you really care about. You become a shell of your former person. It's an addiction.

So, I have to tell the evil voice to shut up and listen to the True voice that screams, "NO!" when I tell myself I am ugly or fat or stupid. Because that isn't who God made me to be. I think I am only hurting myself but, in reality, I am sinning against Him when I insult His creation in that way.

**Random thoughts because my wedding dress is made by a designer who only goes up to "10" but in reality her "10" is a 4 or a 6. Stupid.**

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Re-post from my friend Brit:

"I asked for strength-
and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom-
and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity-
and God gave me brain & brawn to work.
I asked for courage-
and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love-
and God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted-
I received everything I needed.

My prayer has been answered."

-Michael
(Indian Medical Student killed June 1999 because of his father's evangelistic activities)